6. Upsetting

I've almost caught you up to date. Since being in contact with my daughter, I have witnessed many things. I have overheard verbal abuse from her paternal grandmother, who she spends a lot of time at her house. We've been disconnected because her aunt asked her once who she was on the phone with, and when she replied, "my mom", aunt yelled, "get off the phone now", daughter replied no, and aunt grabbed for the phone and we were disconnected. Let me just state this, I am not a horrible person, I do not have a problem with alcohol or drugs, I never have ever in my lifetime had a problem with alcohol or drugs. Of course, when I was in my 20s, I partied it up, but as soon as I got pregnant with my first, the parties stopped for me. I wanted to be a positive role model for my children. I was afraid, what if one night, I was passed out drunk and there was a fire? I would never ever want to bring any harm to any of my children. And when I got pregnant, I grew up and became that responsible mom that I always wanted to be. I have 2 other children that are younger. I was investigated by my local CPS last year due to a false complaint made, which CPS even knew from the original complaint that it was most likley false, but still had to do their jobs and investigate me. They spoke with my other 2 children at their school and checked them out for signs of abuse. They spoke with my children's principal and I think even my pastor. I've helped out at the kids schools for years, volunteered and helped out with our local recreation department coaching volleyball, volunteered with my oldest daughter at many girl scout outings and events. I was a stay at home mom for 13 years and didn't start working until a year ago. My kids have always been my life, I live for them, and I try to do everything I possibly can for them to make them happy. I live for their smiles, their giggles, their hugs and their kisses. They are the best thing that ever happened in my life. That's why it hurt so much when my daughter left me and went to live with her dad. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but I always try to do the right thing, to set the right example for my kids.

Okay, so enough about me. Here's what is upsetting to me. Every other Tuesday, the CPS Supervisor, the father, the paternal grandmother, my daughter, and her boyfriend, have a meeting. Daughter was informed today that she will be going into foster care on the weekends to give father and paternal grandmother a break as daughter is stressing them out! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? How can this be done without even contacting me? If father can't handle her, then send her back down to mother, who can and wants her every single day of the week, month and year! This is just plain ridiculous and I can't even fathom the idea of having my daughter entering foster care when there is NO reason why she can't just come live with me.

So here is my dilemma... I live 3 1/2 hours away from my daughter right now. Last weekend when her and I spent the weekend together, she cried and cried and begged me not to bring her back to her father. Not wanting to get into legal trouble, as I know this "man" would call the police on me for kidnapping her if I didn't return her, it broke my heart to tell her, not yet. Being that he lives in a small town, where everyone around is related or a friend of the family, it's even more difficult of a battle for me. This is where I need your help. I contacted my attorney up there, and I need a significant amount of money to bring her home. The retainer needed is $2,500 and I was told that it could cost me up to $10,000! If you can donate, please I am desperate and I am not one who likes to ask anyone for help. But at this point, I do not know what else I can do and a friend suggested that I try social fundraising. If you can't donate, please help by sharing this with your social networks.

I have emailed the district attorney, as the case is still open against this "man". Of course to which, I have not received a reply yet. Here is a copy of the email I sent:

2. After she left...

After she left, I fell into this massive state of depression. I never wanted to leave my bed. I never wanted to do anything. My family turned against me when she left. I waited and waited for her to call me, text me, or email me. I heard nothing for almost 10 months. One day I get a letter in the mail from the CPS Supervisor from the County that she lived in. She claimed she had been trying to get ahold of me, but she hadn't. I never received a phone call, this letter was the first contact I had. So the next day, I called and left a message for her to return my call. We finally got ahold of each other and she proceeds to tell me that she needs my help with my daughter. She tells me that there was an incident that happened in July, and that she how she got involved. She refused to give me details, but said that she had begged the DA not to open a case as she "knew this family well". To me, that means, I am a friend of this family. But the case was opened and she was appointed to it. And she and another lady she worked with were providing counseling for daughter, the father, and the grandmother. She had contacted me because she was looking for some background information on my daughter, which of course her father would know nothing of. He would never listen to anything I had to say when it came to our daughter, it was always pointing a finger at what I was doing wrong. Of course, he was rarely sober during any conversation we ever had too. Anyways, so that was the beginning of bringing my beloved daughter back in contact with me. The next day I received a phone call from her, but was working so missed it. But we connected the following day after that and have talked on the phone every day since then at least once.